Twilight

I've been knocking Twilight for some time (and now am knocking the werewolves that look like German Shepherds in New Moon) because it's trendy and stars pretty boys and dumb Bella Swan, thinking a vamp is a boyfriend. Goddamn it, you're they're food, not a girlfriend!

Anyway, I wanted to know what I was talking about, so I began to read the dreaded first novel in the saga. It's worse than I even thought it would be. The biggest overuse of the weak, to-be verb "was" that I'd ever seen followed by a boring story line had me yawning and shaking my head. It didn't hold my interest and I couldn't get past page five. Isn't Stephanie Meyer in a critique group? The first thing I learned in a crit group: avoid weak, to-be verbs as much as possible and go with active verbs instead.

I'd say it's young adult and impresses kids, but I know kids that think it's retarded. Well, at least now I know what I'm talking about when I say Twilight fucking sucks!

Like I said, I want to know what I'm talking about. Coming in the mail soon, the movie version of Twilight from Nextflix. Oh, the humanity!